A Family of Crackers Jokes Funny
100 of the best Christmas cracker jokes for 2021
See how hard you can make your friends and family laugh with these 100 Christmas cracker jokes
Christmas is only a few days away and the country's getting ready to enjoy its iconic Christmas dinner.
The Christmas cracker is a cornerstone of the Christmas dinner and it simply wouldn't be the same without rolling your eyes and one of the terrible jokes.
Nonetheless, there's an inherent ironic humour that comes with the humble cracker and we would be amiss if they didn't rise a little chuckle out of us at the dinner table.
If you really can't get enough of cracker one-liners and want to prepare some beforehand to make the family laugh (or groan depending on your delivery) we've prepared 100 of the best cracker jokes.
Some of the jokes are ones that will never get old while some newer ones are more relevant to Covid-19 which is still hanging over the heads of many families this Christmas with threats of a new lockdown.
Nonetheless, sit back and enjoy yourself with these humble Christmas cracker jokes.
- What did Santa do when he went speed dating?
He pulled a cracker - How does Darth Vader enjoy his Christmas Turkey?
On the dark side! - What is the Grinch's least favourite band?
The Who! - How is Drake like an elf?
He spends all his time wrapping - What do you get if Santa forgets to wear his undercrackers?
St Nickerless - Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars?
Because their days are numbered! - What's a dog's favourite carol?
Bark, the herald angels sing - What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A Christmas Quacker! - Who's Rudolph's favourite pop star?
Beyon-sleigh! - Why has Boris Johnson bought mistletoe this year?
Because he's tired of being in the single market! - What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert?
Lost -
Why has Santa been banned from sooty chimneys?
Carbon footprints -
Which of Santa's reindeer has the best moves?
Dancer! -
Why was the turkey in the pop group?
Because he was the only one with drumsticks! - What do you get if you put a bell on a skunk?
Jingle smells - I got a Christmas card full of rice in the post today...
I think it was from my Uncle Ben - How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas?
He felt his presents - Why don't you ever see Father Christmas in hospital?
Because he has private elf care - Why did the Grinch go to Bargain Booze?
He was searching for some holiday spirit - What does Santa spend his wages on?
Jingle Bills - Why does Donald Trump have his Christmas dinner on a plastic plate? He doesn't get on with China
- Why is Parliament like ancient Bethlehem?
It takes a miracle to find three wise men there - Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy - Which Christmas carol is about an animal with three legs?
Little Wonkey - What do you call a snowman who goes on Love Island?
A melt - What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman - What is Olivia Colman's favourite part of a turkey?
The Crown - Why did no-one bid for Rudolph and Dasher on eBay ?
Because they were two deer - How can you tell if you are at a Brexit party this Christmas?
Because everyone wants to leave - What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
Horn-aments! - What did the snowman say to the robin?
I have snow idea! - What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps - Why was the snowman looking through the carrots?
He was picking his nose - What does Miley Cyrus have for her Christmas dinner?
Twerky - What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
"It's Christmas, Eve" - What do snowmen have for breakfast?
Snowflakes - What does Father Christmas do when his elves misbehave?
He gives them the sack - Why couldn't the skeleton go to the Christmas party?
He had no body to go with - Why did the turkey cross the road?
Because he wasn't chicken - How will Brexit affect Christmas dinner?
No Brussels - Why is Mrs Claus always checking Santa's phone?
He seems to know where all the naughty girls live - What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?
Rude-olph! - Where would you find snowmen dancing?
At a snowball - How did Scrooge win the football game?
The ghost of Christmas passed - Where do snowmen keep their money?
In a snowbank - Who do Santa's helpers call when they're ill?
The National Elf Service! - Why did Santa quit smoking?
Because it was bad for his elf - What's Tarzan's favourite Christmas song?
Jungle bells - What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite - What does Prince George play at Christmas instead of musical chairs?
Game of Thrones - Where do elves go to dance?
Christmas Balls - What are the best Christmas sweaters made from?
Fleece Navidad! - What do the elves call it when Father Christmas claps his hands at the end of a play? Santapplause
- What is Santa's dogs name?
Santa Paws! - How did Mary and Joseph know Jesus' weight when he was born?
They had a weigh in a manger! - How do snowmen get around?
They ride an icicle! - What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers! - What do you sing at a Snowman's party?
Freeze a jolly good fellow - Why did the turkey cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off! - What is white and minty?
A polo bear! - What do elves do after school?
Their gnome work! - What falls at the North Pole but never gets hurt?
Snow - How did the ornament get addicted to Christmas?
He was hooked on trees his whole life - What would you call an elf who just has won the lottery?
Welfy! - What beats his chest and swings from Christmas cake to Christmas cake?
Tarzipan! - What's the difference between Santa Clause and a knight?
One slays a dragon, the other drags a sleigh! - Why are mummies such big fans of Christmas?
Because they enjoy wrapping - What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa?
A rebel without a Claus - What do you call an old snowman?
Water - What's the difference between Batman and the Grinch?
Batman can go into Whoville without Robin - What was the three wise men's favourite Christmas carol?
Oh Camel, Ye Faithful - What happened to the burglar who robbed an advent calendar factory?
He got 25 days - What do sheep say to each other at Christmas time?
Merry Christmas to ewe! - What comes at the end of Christmas Day?
The letter "Y"! - When is a Christmas dinner bad for your health?
When you're the turkey... - What's every parent's favorite Christmas Carol?
Silent Night - What did the farmer get for Christmas?
A cowculator - What you can call a polar bear which wears ear muffs?
Anything you want. He can't hear you! - What did one Christmas light say to the other Christmas light?
You light me up! - What's every elf's favorite type of music?
Wrap - Why can't the Christmas tree stand up?
It doesn't have legs - Who is Santa's favourite actor?
Willem Dafoe-ho-ho - Why does your nose get tired in winter?
It runs all day - Who tells the best Christmas jokes?
Reindeer. They sleigh every time - What do you call Santa when he takes a break?
Santa Pause - Where do you find reindeer?
It depends on where you leave them! - Who is a Christmas tree's favorite singer?
Spruce Springsteen -
What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit?
Crisp Kringle -
Why is the turkey never hungry at Christmas?
It's stuffed -
What does Santa use to bake cakes?
Elf-raising flour -
Why did the choir have to cancel their carol concert?
They caught tinsel-itis -
What is the duck's favourite Christmas carol?
In The Beak Midwinter -
Why didn't Mary and Joseph make it to Bethlehem?
All Virgin flights were cancelled. -
Why are Santa's reindeer allowed to travel on Christmas Eve?
They have herd immunity. -
Why is it best to think of 2021 like a panto?
Because eventually, it's behind you. -
Why won't Santa lose any presents this year?
He's downloaded Sack and Trace. -
How can you get out of talking to your boss at this year's staff Christmas party?
Put him on mute. -
Who dresses in red and gives to the children this Christmas?
Marcus Rashford. -
Why did Mary and Joseph have to travel to Bethlehem?
Because they couldn't book a home delivery. -
Did you hear that production was down at Santa's workshop?
Many of his workers have had to elf isolate.
Source: https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/uk-news/100-best-christmas-cracker-jokes-22519353
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